Don't Tell My Mother by Brigitte Bautista

"I just need a spot, a tiny sliver of this planet, where happiness shouldn't be so much of a struggle."

—Don't Tell My Mother by Brigitte Bautista 

Title: Don't Tell My Mother

Author: Brigitte Bautista

Page Count: 112 (Paperback)

Synopsis:

With an overly zealous mother as her guide, 19-year-old Sam has never had problems navigating through Christian suburbia before. But all that changes when she befriends and becomes intrigued with Clara, her widowed neighbor and the village's social outcast. When their friendship grows into the "unnatural", Sam is forced to examine her upbringing and come to terms with who she really is.

Thoughts:

**Read for Asian Readathon 2019 hosted by Cindy of readwithcindy. I picked this book to fulfill challenges no. 1 "read any book by an Asian author" and no.3 "read a book featuring an intersectional Asian character or written by an intersectional Asian identity (i.e, queer, mixed, disabled, neurodiverse, etc.)". Don't Tell My Mother is written by Brigitte Bautista, a Filipino author, and is tagged under LGBTQ books. To know more about the readathon and/or see the full list of challenges, you may watch Cindy's video or read the details here.

I find the story simple yet beautiful. Each flashback bears realization for Sam as she discovers and accepts herself—all skins shed, as she puts it. Like she's revisiting them and seeing each with a new understanding. I think it is brave to set the story not only within a Christian family but in a Christian community. Despite Filipinos being openly accepting of LGBTQ+, there are still those who—like the people in the suburbs Sam lives in—are set into their beliefs. And others, while okay with LGBTQ+, are only tolerant of the existence and/or acquaintance but don't really acknowledge what it means to be one. I especially like when Clara said that she can and do love Sam and the Lord at the same time.

The writing style reads like how most Filipino short stories I read in school does: light and entertaining while touching on a difficult or serious topic. I think the Filipino trait of smiling/laughing even through hardships explains this style. The goal is to grab your attention from the first few pages and put in witty bits from time to time that hopefully would amuse you enough to convince you to read on. It might be hard to get into if you're used to novels written in a more serious tone or those with a fixed build-up pattern. There are a lot of flashbacks as Sam's character and development are introduced to you this way. Also, if you're not a Filipino, some of the jokes and references would escape you.

The story is told from Sam's perspective. In fact, it sounds as if she's telling it to you herself face to face what with the jokes and all. Or maybe reading her diary which would explain how the book is short but packed with just the interesting parts. Because of this though, we don't see much of the other characters when Sam isn't in the picture. So we really would never learn why her mother is so uptight, or the other people in their village for that matter. What was on Christina's mind? What had become of Sam's family, to her father, in the aftermath of things? A little more on Dinah wouldn't hurt either. I feel like her story could reach out to people having the same struggles. I somehow hope she'd have her own book, too.

Note: Ah~! One more thing (I almost forgot); Isn't the flannel stereotyping, though? 

The Sun Is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon

"Maybe part of falling in love with someone else is also falling in love with yourself."

 —The Sun Is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon

Title: The Sun Is Also a Star

Author: Nicola Yoon

Page Count: 384 (eBook)

Synopsis: 

Natasha: I’m a girl who believes in science and facts. Not fate. Not destiny. Or dreams that will never come true. I’m definitely not the kind of girl who meets a cute boy on a crowded New York City street and falls in love with him. Not when my family is twelve hours away from being deported to Jamaica. Falling in love with him won’t be my story.

Daniel: I’ve always been the good son, the good student, living up to my parents’ high expectations. Never the poet. Or the dreamer. But when I see her, I forget about all that. Something about Natasha makes me think that fate has something much more extraordinary in store—for both of us.

The Universe: Every moment in our lives has brought us to this single moment. A million futures lie before us. Which one will come true? 

Thoughts:

At first, I didn't know what to feel about the book overall because I keep on coming back to the fact that most of this happened IN A DAY. But I remember the lessons we had on Literature about stories taking place in a day, too, but ended up affecting the lives of the characters for their lifetime. And the events of today affects the ones of tomorrow, right? Also, you know what; I don’t really know how to review books objectively. At this moment, i think it’s great and right now that’s all that matters. Gally, I am clearly overwhelmed~!

This story, despite being on the highest scale of impossible for all the coincidences it has, still makes me want to believe AND despite being cheesy, makes me want to forgive it. I even forgot to note how many open and close parentheses there are and how I’m kind of confused about Charlie lmao! I mean I can’t even compose a proper review right now so who am I to judge, really? Maybe one in i-don't-know-how-many odds, something like this COULD really happen.

Many lines spoke to me even if my situation was entirely different from what’s happening in the book. They just hit close to home I guess.

I really like how there are a lot of stories within Daniel’s and Natasha’s. Knowing the stories of others showed cause and effect which contributed to the overall theme of the book. Another thing I like is how there seems to be a debate but no one is counting the points. Does anyone even care to win? Also the amount of new things to learn! Lastly, the obvious and subtle talk of “love” (in all forms!)—for your lover, family, friends, self etc. Whether you are for the sappy, fate believer kind one or the chemically, science produced one, I hope we all take something from this story.

Five Feet Apart by Rachael Lippincott

"Don’t think about what you’ve lost. Think of how much you have to gain. Live."

—Five Feet Apart by Rachael Lippincott 

Title: Five Feet Apart

Author: Rachael Lippincott

Page Count: 288 (eBook)

Synopsis:

In this moving story two teens fall in love with just one minor complication—they can't get within five feet of each other without risking their lives.

Can you love someone you can never touch?

Stella Grant likes to be in control—even though her totally out of control lungs have sent her in and out of the hospital most of her life. At this point, what Stella needs to control most is keeping herself away from anyone or anything that might pass along an infection and jeopardize the possibility of a lung transplant. Six feet apart. No exceptions.

The only thing Will Newman wants to be in control of is getting out of this hospital. He couldn't care less about his treatments, or a fancy new clinical drug trial. Soon, he'll turn eighteen and then he'll be able to unplug all these machines and actually go see the world, not just its hospitals.

Will's exactly what Stella needs to stay away from. If he so much as breathes on Stella she could lose her spot in the transplant list. Either one of them could die. The only way to stay alive is to stay apart. But suddenly six feet doesn't feel like safety. It feels like punishment.

What if they could steal back just a little bit of the space their broken lungs have stolen from them? Would five feet apart really be so dangerous if it stops their hearts from breaking too?

Thoughts:

It reads a bit like The Fault in our Stars in a way that “let’s do all these dangerous things for experience since we are dying anyway”. But at least for FFA I genuinely liked Poe. Honestly, I would have been okay even if the story was only about Stella and Poe’s friendship. 

I would still recommend this book even though I have some concerns because to be fair, I did enjoy the book and it introduced me to CF. I laughed, thought some parts sweet and teared up a little bit (bec POE!) but at the back of my mind I know there’s something wrong. Everything is just so convenient for them. Where are all the hospital people when they sneak off? How could they spend those times breaking rules about being too close, even touching, and somehow be okay? And that bit at the end:

SPOILER ZONE!!! Only click if you have finished the book

Why would you suddenly throw that ‘chance for a little more time’ you’ve been fighting for all your life? If a friend dies and you contemplate how his loved ones might be feeling—even literally saw it—why would you knowingly subject your own loved ones to the same?? Yes, they may be fearing for it all your life too. But knowing something would eventually happen doesn’t really prepare them for that death they’ve been dreading. Stella even knows this herself, that her death will break her parents. So her actions in the end was insane and out of character if not completely unrealistic. You love him so it’s okay to die right about now and okay to potentially kill him too!? When you both can live at least some years more and still be in love even if you’re apart. That act of Stella kind of ruined the end bit for me. Well, at least Will got sane enough to leave.

A Game of Thrones (A Song of Fire and Ice #1) by George R.R. Martin

"Nothing burns like the cold."

―A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin 

Title: A Game of Thrones (A Song of Fire and Ice #1)

Author: George R.R. Martin

Page Count: 880 (eBook)

Synopsis:

Winter is coming, and in the frozen wastes to the North, sinister and supernatural forces are massing beyond the kingdom’s protective Wall. At the center of the conflict lie the Starks of Winterfell, a family as harsh and unyielding as the land they were born to. Sweeping from a region of brutal cold to a distant summertime kingdom of epicurean plenty, here is a tale rife with plots and counterplots, tragedy and betrayal, victory and terror, as each faction endeavors to win that deadliest of conflicts: the game of thrones.

Thoughts:

Read together with my boyfraaaan for fun.

I have mixed feelings towards this book. It's good, I admire George R.R. Martin for coming up with all the elaborate stuff within his series. However, I find myself getting irked (if you will) with the characters. And I think that affected my overall reading experience.

When a story is as long as this, you ought to get bored on some parts. So I was already expecting that but what really threw me off is how females are 99% of the time brought down, viewed or portrayed negatively. The book is already massive and it doesn’t help that the narrative can be dragging for me at times. It made me unmotivated to continue for days after I pick it back up. Most of the characters I don’t really care for, too lmao. Ned is hopeless, Sansa’s annoying and Cate can be so stupid for someone who’s supposedly witty. Dany interested me literally only once through the whole book (during that end bit). 

I am hopeful that the ones remaining would be more interesting as the series continue and also for them to change how females are viewed eventually. I do have to credit the whole world building and the storyline, though. It’s impressive as heck and it really does give that war of the roses vibe plus more. I love reading historical fiction so I am not surprised how I managed to plow through this book. I really enjoyed that aspect of the story and it is the reason why I consider continuing on with the other books.

The Memory Wall by Lev A.C. Rosen

"She saw everything as wonderful, even the bad stuff, because she could learn from it."

―The Memory Wall by Lev A.C. Rosen

Title: The Memory Wall 

Author: Lev A.C. Rosen

Page Count: 368 (Hardcover)

Synopsis:

There’s a fine line between real life and video games in this engrossing novel that’s part Kathryn Erskine’s Mockingbird, part Patrick Ness’s A Monster Calls.
 
Severkin is an elf who slinks through the shadows of Wellhall’s spiraling stone towers, plundering ancient ruins and slaying mystical monstrosities with ease.
 
He’s also a character in a video game—a character that twelve-year-old Nick Reeves plays when he needs a break from the real world. And lately, Nick has really needed a break. His mother had an “incident” at school last year, and her health has taken a turn for the worse.
 
Nick is convinced his mother’s illness has been misdiagnosed, but no one believes him. His only escape is the online world of Wellhall, where, as the elf character Severkin, he can face any problem. But when Nick finds himself fighting alongside another elf who reminds him of someone he knows in real life, his worlds begin to collide. . . .

Thoughts:

First of, FINALLY FINISHED A BOOK THIS MONTH! I was so busy that I wasn’t inspired to pick up my books. 

So...This might be a biased review because, well... I really like games and especially RPGs. The game theme is why I got the book in the first place. Bought from this year's Big Bad Wolf Books.

It was an interesting and a touching read. I enjoyed the adventures in it and I can almost see an entire book just about it~ I sometimes relate to Nick because I also get lost in the story line of the games I play. I really like when it incorporates real life historical events and myths. I was figuring out along with Nick and Severkin the entire time and genuinely felt sad when I imagine the future progression of his mom’s condition. The way he expressed his feelings also spoke to me.

While I appreciate that there’s actual story within the game, I wish the real life stories outside of it were also explored so as to know more about the other people in Nick’s life. Since the story focuses on his perspective, there wasn’t much build for the other characters. I believe that Nick’s parents as characters can still be developed for the readers to understand the depth of Alzheimer’s.

Dancer by Lorri Hewett

"She reached too far and fell to the ground. But it was better that she fall attempting something wonderful than hold back."

—Dancer  by Lorri Hewett

Title: Dancer

Author: Lorri Hewett

Page Count: 224 (Paperback)

Synopsis: 

Ballet is the most important thing in Stephanie's life. But the reality of dance is tough, and Stephanie's parents fear that she doesn't realize how few opportunities there are for black ballerinas. Then, the remarkable Miss Winnie and her handsome and talented nephew, Vance, show up in ballet class one day. Miss Winnie, a glamorous retired ballerina, takes Stephanie on as a pupil and gives her the encouragement she needs. And Stephanie begins to discover a different kind of love . . . and a different understanding of what's important.

Thoughts:

Boy am I glad I picked up this book from Booksale when I saw it.

Very easy to read and get into. Since the book touches upon dreams and the insecurities people struggle with, it can be relatable even if you’re aiming for a different future than ballet. The writing is simple but speaks to its reader well. 

"Why do I work so hard for that one moment of flight? It seems silly when I think about it, arranging my whole life around a few moments of pure joy."

"I'm sick of trying to fit in everywhere, to say the right thing, to wear the right thing. Sometimes I don't even feel like I'm me."

My heart...*cries in feels* I really appreciate Lorri Hewett's words. There are still many more that I tabbed but I'll leave it for you guys to feel on your own. 

The teeny thing that bothered me, though, is how Stephanie talks to her parents. Why does she have to shout all the time?😅 I get it that she’s frustrated but sometimes the shouting is so uncalled for. I feel for her parents. It must be so hard on them too not knowing anything or too little about what their daughter loves so much. I was glad how she at least got better at handling her emotions towards the end. 

I felt like I wanted more of a backstory from Anna and Miss Winnie. But I understand that those might shift attention from Stephanie. 

A good example of a book that can manage without too much romance in it. I’m honestly okay even if the book won’t include any. Although I think the book could still give us more, this is definitely remains a very good read. Would-recommend!

A Reading Update

Dear Self,

As of today, you managed to devour eleven books after the one from your last entry! ELEVEN!!!  Reading Slump who?! *clap clap clap* Well done, Self. Well done. *self pat* Now, how do you suppose to write about all of that, eh!? You were too excited to begin another book right after finishing one without even looking back. Oi, slow down!

On top of the expiration of your domain name *sob sob* you've been eating books non-stop. Because of that, you haven't been documenting your thoughts on those books you've read. I guess in a way, that is okay. The important thing is that you are enjoying and I know you are. For now, more than a hobby, I am glad that reading makes you feel better. I want to congratulate you on this progress! You are doing great and I am so proud of you.

~Neoeen